Monday, January 26, 2009

Shaking in My Sneakers

I just couldn't believe that the woman from Focus magazine here wanted to interview me about my art. She cancelled and rescheduled twice and finally on Saturday evening she came to my house because she wanted to see more of my work.

Now I'm still a bit sick to my stomach because I have no idea what I told her. She asked questions for two hours and we talked and I was so comfortable with her. She said it would be a small article about my paintings. We got on the subject of how I started painting and I told her that after my son died, I dreamed over and over again that I could paint him. Recreate him on canvas. I saw every hair on his head as I painted in my dream. It was cathartic and a real gift to be able to see him in that way after he died. Anyway, that is what we talked about mostly after that. She took photos of me with my five brother's charcoals that I did and then she did one of me and the painting I did of Brian and then we went onto the front porch and she took a bazillion it seemed of me with different paintings on the porch. Sigh I wish I had had a recorder so I'd know what I said exactly. When I get on the subject of my son, well, I don't know anything else. I want in all ways to honor Brian when I talk to people about him. I feel it is a gift I am giving if I talk about my son but if I talk to someone who isn't really interested, I feel terrible, like I dishonored my son in some way by talking to someone who really wasn't interested or didn't care. She seemed like she really cared and I went off at the mouth. LOL Of course (DUH) it's her job to care or appear to. She has a son and she got tears in her eyes several times during the interview. I hope she treats it honorably in the paper though. I don't know what that means but I hope I don't feel sick to my stomach after I read it like I do now. I planned to keep the subject on my paintings and in truth I didn't talk as much about my paintings as I did about my son.

I want a playback but I won't be getting it. I didn't ask any questions. I don't know when the article will come out. Bill is right. If someone meets me they know my life within an hour. Two hours, well, it's probably amazing what I can do in two hours. LOL I will let you know when I see it how she treated this piece of my life that is my soul. Jeni is my heart and Brian my soul. I never want to do them harm.

8 comments:

Mary said...

Judy, how exciting that there will be an article about you in Focus. You are really getting our talent out there and becoming known. That is a wonderful thing. I am sure that what you said would not have dishonored your son....really I am.

BelleWillow said...

Judy, looking forward to seeing the article when it comes out. Don't be shaking in your sneakers, I'm sure you did just fine. I'm sure this woman will be honorable in the article. I think it is wonderful that you give the gift of Brian by sharing him with people. TY for checking my blog and making comments. I'm looking forward to strawberries.

Darrell said...

Judy: Congratulations on the magazine article! One step closer to the cover of Time....

Love, Darrell

Victoria said...

Exciting Judy/ I can't wait to read the article - probable with pictures of your art? I understand the vulnerability of becoming better known about art close to one's soul.

My Carolina Kitchen said...

Judy, this is exciting to hear about an article about you in Focus. I understand how you feel but I'm positive it will be a terrific article and a tribute to Brian. When you speak from your heart, people recognize and honor it. Let us know when it's published. We all look forward to reading it.
Sam

Peggy said...

I have gotten behind on reading blogs (plus I lost your link for some days, but now found it). I love that your paper/local magazine is doing a story on you and your painting. I do think you are such a gifted painter and your story is one that is very moving.

If I were the one writing your story I know how I would write it and it would indeed honor Brian. I do hope the person doing your story does it well and that the publication gives her enough space to give it what it deserves. (That space thing and the choice of the picture is probably not up to the writer.) Your story deserves a wonderful presentation.

Hopefully we can see the article at the retreat!

Janet said...

Judy,

Congratulations on having an article written of you and your art in Focus. I hope I can access the article via the Internet. I would love to read it. I am sure you did fine regarding Brian. I am equally sure he would approve.

Judy said...

Just a note. Bill saw the journalist that interviewed me at the Y the other day and she asked him if he was my husband. When he affirmed that she said she wanted him to know what a wonderful woman he was married to. She said that she enjoyed her visit with me so much. (Well, that probably doesn't mean anything either but I doubt she would write anything but good things when she said she enjoyed the "visit". )
Still don't know when my article will appear. Maybe never but if it does come out soon, it will be out for the Strawberry Festival and that would be an incredible time. Still a bit anxious here but feeling much better.