Nov 27, 2008 Happy Day

Happy Thanksgiving

My daughter and I have always believed that when Santa appears at the end of Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, that Christmas was officially here. She was looking forward to getting back home to start decorating. LOL

We had such a wonderful time. Lots of warmth and time shared with family. We had the meal catered and that was so convenient but we all agreed afterward that cooking had its own merit on the holidays and we agreed we would cook on Christmas. We missed the turkey roasting and the pumpkin pie baking in the oven.

I can barely keep my eyes open right now. It’s been a long and perfect day. The only snag in the day was that Tom, Jeni’s fiancé, was unable to come. He is always on call on his job and he’s been in Ft. Myers for three days trying to correct a problem at their waste treatment center. Not a nice way to spend the holiday. He will get home about midnight tonight if all goes well. Jeni and he are getting used to him always being on call I think but its still disappointing, especially on a holiday and he has to be away.

We were delighted to have June's Mom, Cecelia, spend the day with us. I know June and Mike are worried about her because she has Alzeimers but for a 90 year old woman she looks great and she enjoys herself. I know we enjoyed her. We learned that she is outspoken and funny.

Lexi got her share of attention, as always. I don’t know what level you go to after spoiled isn’t strong enough word. LOL

The Wii was a hit. Michael stayed over after every one had left around 8pm just to get in a few more games. I heard Bill commandeering Michael to come help set up Christmas decorations as he left.

Yamelis, my sister in law from Venezuela, said her mother and sister were a bit perplexed over our Thanksgiving celebrations. In their country they eat Thanksgiving dinner and then leave. Here we eat, play, rest, eat dessert, rest, play, watch Christmas Vacation as we nap, then its dinner time, build a bon fire to sit by, the maybe eat a snack. LOL Maybe that’s why Yamelis weighs about 100 lbs and I don’t! LOL

Great memories here of another Thanksgiving Day and all we have to be thankful for.

Blessings on this day.
This year I’m thankful for my husband. I am so thankful that he takes care of himself so I don’t have to worry about him. He works out daily at the Y, is eating better (not a good subject for this day), and gets his checkups, etc, etc, etc, Thirty eight years of loving him is not enough… I want thirty-eight more.

Jeni, our beautiful daughter I adore and am so proud of. She’s such a hard worker and does so much. She has a wonderful heart and cares so deeply.

Family that keeps growing now instead of disappearing, which was my fear. Though we suffer losses,most notibly our Aunt Betty this past year, and people leave (Guillermo is in the Army now), our family can still gather and even grow. Tom's family has already become family to us and this Christmas we will even get to meet Tom's brother and sister in law and ..ta-da..the twins! We are looking forward to seeing all the family and meeting the ones we haven't met yet.

I’m thankful that Yamelis’ Mom and sister were able to come to America and they were able to be together after seven years of separation. I'm glad we have the opportunity to get to know them better.

I’m thankful for my four brothers and the family tie that we have, the love we share. I’m thankful for my sister in laws and how close I feel to each one of them. Loving your in-laws is not always a given so I know how blessed I am to have Brenda, Rita, Yamelis, and June in my life.

I’m thankful my mother is still alive and part of my life. It’s wonderful knowing she is still able to manage on her own and is vital. Al & Brenda take a load off all of us because she is in a house on their property and they do all the work, seeing that she gets to the store, Dr. and a million other things. I‘m very thankful for Alvin and Brenda!!

We are blessed with a handsome, wonderful, caring, future son in law, Tom. The love that he and Jeni share touches my heart every time I see them together. They will be married in April and I’m thankful that we will be on Antigua on April 11, for this occasion.

I’m so thankful for my family in Texas and for the blessing they are in my life. All of them love and care about us and keep in touch and keep that family tie with Bill.

I’m thankful for all the friends in my life. So many from HCC and Skywriters and here in Plant City and Maggie Valley. They enrich my life and make me more.

Oh, I can see this list could go on and on for eternity. Too many blessings to even list right now. I am so blessed and I am thankful. I will start to think of all the other blessings when I send this and I’ll be thankful for those but I’ll spare you all more words here. LOL

Holiday blessings to each and every one of you who read this.

Saturday Nov 22, 2008

Today was just beautiful weather-wise. Blue skies, cool weather, sun shine and the beauty of autumn full-blown (Florida style).
We started the day having coffee here and then breakfast at Bob Evans (Bill’s favorite place). We split up then to pursue our day. Linen’s and Things is going out of business so I headed there and Bill headed to the car lot.
This afternoon I picked Hanna up(I am in the Big Brother/Big Sister program and Hanna has been my little sister for two years now. ) and we came back to the house to work on her projects. I am teaching her to knit and she’s going to try to get a painting done of a butterfly. We keep talking about it but so many other things get in the way. Tonight we cooked dinner for Michael, my nephew, who came over to help Bill set up his Wii, and Bill and us. They just got it working a few minutes ago after I took Hanna home so Hanna was disappointed she didn’t get to see it. Next time. She and I made chili, grill cheese and cookies for dessert. Not a bad meal for a cold Saturday night and she’s learning to cook.



Here's Michael showing Bill how to do the balance exercises. This Wii should be a lot of fun, or it was until I went up and stepped on the scale myself! Geez!! After the Wii assessed me, my likeness all of a sudden took on this rotund appearance that was shocking! I don't think I'll play any more and that should take care of that!

Celebration

Not sure how to do the photos in a blog but here's my try:
Tom & Jeni's Engagement , Bill's Birthday

Mike & June's new home & Michael's apartment,

Bettina & Gabriella vist from Venezuela, Wayne with his mother-in-law and sister-in-law, Yamelis showing her mom and sister around in the golf cart, getting attached to Lexi dawg, and feeling full and half dozing on the couch while watching the Bucs.

We had such a great celebration of life Sunday. So much to celebrate. Bill’s birthday, Jeni and Tom’s engagement, Yamelis’ Mom and sister here from Venezuela, Michael’s new apartment, Mike and June’s new home, and life is good.
We had a bon-fire outside because the weather turned a bit chilly, perfect weather! The Bucs played at 1p.m. and won and we had the set on and watched bits and pieces of that win, along with the Titans game afterwards and that undefeated team remained undefeated. Michael is a staunch supporter of the Titans so we were really glad they won as well.
I gave Bill a Wii and Michael will return sometime this week to help him set it up. Michael and his Dad and June have one as well so they are all old hats at this. I got him the Fit and some games like golf and football to play. I’m not sure he will play but he might with Michael and I’ve heard such good things about the Wii from friends that have the set. I hope it will turn out to be a good thing and that Bill enjoy it. He also got Harley garb and some shirts, gift certificate to B&N and other things from family - so he had a wonderful (second this year LOL) birthday.
We tried a new bakery that had the prettiest, most unusual cakes and they turned out to taste really good too so we were really pleased with that. Then the catering..OMG…so much food and the quality was deliciously wonderful. We had ribs, chicken, cole slaw, baked beans, carrot cake and corn on the cob. Wayne & Yamelis brought a Snickers Cheesecake and we had appetizers beforehand. I had worried about quantity as well because of past catered experiences, but we ate two meals, lunch and dinner and then we sent some home with everyone to have yet another meal! We have already signed the catering company up for Thanksgiving. LOL I’m used to cooking Thanksgiving dinner and perhaps this will not work out because I like the process of cooking but with my bum knees right now, not having to stand all day will be a good thing. I will have to let Wayne and Yamelis know that they won’t have to bring the ham and sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving..but, man, Wayne’s sweet potatoes are something I look forward to all year and Yamelis’ Flan is something we all look forward to so maybe we will cook some and cater some. LOL
It was great seeing everyone here and celebrating.
Oh, we opened the champagne and drank toasts to everything imaginable, starting with birthdays, engagements, new homes, visitors from foreign lands and ending with celebration for food, and the bon fire, and family, and friends, and Gabriella and Bettina (Yamelis’ family) would say something in Spanish that no one but Yamelis understood and we’d drink a toast to that as well. Yep, life was good. We missed Guillermo who is in the Army but he will be back home for Christmas before he goes back for more school. He will be going to Ft. Bragg. We sat his photo out on the counter and he was with us whether he knew it or not. :)
Just one sadness, and that is that Jeni and Tom are grieving the death of their beloved pet, Archie, and that was so sad to see the pain, though they hid it well. It was good that we could bring some celebrations in though at this time for them. {{{{Jeni & Tom}}}}

Separate Poetry Blog - I'd Like To Say

I found it difficult to combine my poetry and my journal style (kitchen table, front porch) so I now have a separate poetry blog called, "I'd Like to Say".


http://judyidliketosay.blogspot.com/8557803378399

PAD November 14

Prompt:I want you to write a warning poem. Offer some kind of caution or warning related to your theme.

Warning:

Not everyone will stick with you when times are tough
Not everyone will be willing to weather the storm with you.
Nobody wants to deal with your loss or sadness for long.
Just when the shock wears off and you can really feel the pain
don’t be surprised if there is no one there. Your friends are
surrounding themselves with positive people, people who will
lift them up, if they are smart and take care of themselves.

This journey is yours.You have to pick yourself up and find
your own way through the abyss. The most likely help will
simply be time, being open to the help available, and your
willingness to keep going. Graces are there to get us through
but we have to do the work to find them.

Loss and grief are ultimately private journeys
even if everyone around you is on that same journey
their road will never be the same, grief is never the same.
Ultimately you are on your own to stumble as you will
enter a new plateau or find a new mantra that gets you through.
This is just a warning. You are on your own.

Judy Roney

RIP Archie

Today my daughter called to let Bill and me know that Archie, her fiance's dog, had passed away. They are both brokenhearted and their grief is so raw and tangible. Of course my thought is to do something but, what can you do but grieve, too. They decided to take the day off, hop into their jeep and see where it takes them.I thought that was a great way to spend the day and honor Archie. If I know them they were at the beach and there is nothing more calming and life affirming than the ocean.
Tom got Archie, the English Sheepdog, as a puppy and had him for twelve wonderful years. So much love was lavished on this BIG dog from Tom, Jeni, Livi (Jen's dog), Tom's family, friends, and us, too.
I think everyone who met this gentle giant was taken in by that face and his disposition. He looked like he was walking around in a tuxedo because of his coloring. He had an aristocratic bearing that belied the love that spilled out on everyone that got close enough. What a great presense he was in our lives.
We will miss you, Archie. What a great big boy you were. How lucky we all were to have known you and loved you. How lucky you were to have Tom and Jeni devoted to you and loving you for all your life.
I will include a cartoon sketch of what Archie's breed looks like. I will send photos of Archie later.
This will fit in with this month's theme of grief (unfortunately) as I know Tom and Jeni both are grieving now over the loss of their beloved pet.
Brian always wanted a big dog. It gives me comfort to think he has one huge , beautiful, loving dog now.
You will be missed Arch.

Dentists and PAD 13(Poem A Day #13)

I had a friend tell me she didn't think she would visit my site often because of the subject matter, "Loss and/or Grief". Just a reminder that I am just writing poetry on this subject for the Poem A Day and after November I won't. We have to have a theme and that is my theme for this month's writing. I want to have something, a chapbook or poetry book or maybe non-fiction novel on Brian and the grief process eventually. This is my way to that goal. I know its not everyone's cup of tea and I sure wish it weren't mine, but..it is what it is.
I went to the dentist yesterday and I'm still reeling from the quote he gave me on fixing me up good as new. The guys a real joker! I know I have a few problems, what sent me there was a cracked bridge. After he held me captive with explanations on what I needed done, he said for $25,000 he could fix me up better than new. HA!I will be going to a new dentist next month. All of a sudden my teeth are looking very good to me.
I have had two implants come out. He said its because I must grind my teeth at night and my bite is off. Bill used to tell me when he got married again the first thing he would do is check her teeth. Well, I understand completely. I am ready to get dentures. Its looking more and more like a good idea actually and Bill is running that campaign for me. LOL
Bill had his physical today and came out with A-1 good health. Mine comes later in the month and I'm hoping for a good report card, too. I also hope to get something better for my arthritis. I guess I'm officially old, talking about my ailments here.
Wishing you all good health.
Hugs, Judy

Wait

Experts say wait one year
make no major decisions
no moves or changes.

We wait impatiently
for one year, two weeks
three days, four hours.

Then we make our move
search real estate ads
call agents and canvas.

The need to get out, get
away predominates, run
leave the memories behind.

That first day, the first call
net results, we’ll take it
a condo on the water.

We had seven hundred thirty
days to regret it before we could
sell and move two blocks from home.

Commenting On My Posts

Thanks to each of you who have commented on my blog. It means a lot to me to get feed back like that. Several have asked how to comment and I found this explanation on another blog that sounds good to me. I'm terrible about explaning these things but whomever wrote this was not.
Now, I'm off to the dentist. Just shoot me! LOL

How to leave a comment on a blog

It is very easy to comment on a blog. Under a blog post, click on Comments and a window will pop open for you to enter your comment. You have several choices on how to sign in.

· If you have a Google or Yahoo account, merely sign in and your name will automatically appear. (You have the option of opening a Google account also if you wish; just follow the steps.)

· You can select Open Id, Name/URL. Put your name in the box, make your comment, and your name will appear at the top of the comment section.

· You can comment using Anonymous and sign your name in the comment box or not as you wish.

Choose Review to see your post. Then press Publish if it meets your approval.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment.

Poem-A-Day 11

Todays prompt: Write a deep thought or observational poem related to your theme.(Loss and Grief)

I chose a poem that I had already written and re-did for the prompt. The one written for this prompt follows, well, I will share at another time. A body can only take so much I know. Hugs,

I Didn’t Know

I didn’t know
that grief feels a lot like terror
that I would always be on alert
waiting for the next blow
which always comes
but never announces it’s imminence.

I didn’t know
that loss feels a lot like fear
that though unafraid, the sensations
of fear are constant
that adrenaline rushes would
come even in the dead of night.

I didn’t know
that there would be physical symptoms
accompanying my anguish
chest constricted forcing air out,
that I would work to get my next breath…
hyperventilation, headaches, digestive disorders
weight gain, ringing in the ears, mind racing
stone rigid muscles, heart palpations
forgetfulness, stuttering, slurring of words
tingling in arms and feet, dry eyes, sinus problems
horse, sore throat, weakened voice, yawning
gulping, involuntary sounds of grief
loss of memory, long term and short
insomnia or sleeping for days
deep dark depressions, suicidal thoughts.

I didn’t know
that sensations from loosing a loved one
is very similar to being drunk, or
having Alzheimer’s, or other dementias
that sometimes I would have to
remember how to walk or take a bath
sometimes I would forget my husband’s name
or what I like to eat
that I would search for my cigarettes
even though I haven’t smoked for 25 years

I didn’t know
that I would begin to question
what before was dogma
unquestionable things like
my very existence on earth
question my faith and search for answers
anywhere I could find them.

I didn’t know
that loosing a child is like helplessness
and hopelessness rolled into one
hitting walls, locked doors, iron curtains,
firewalls and the final entrance would simply
be a vacuum instead of answers

I didn’t know
that the death of my son would be
the death of me, my life, my hopes
that I would become a robot
to get through my days
that I would suffer, feel shame
guilt, anger, the fringes of insanity;
that I wouldn’t know what to do
with this all encompassing sadness.

I didn’t know
that when my son died I would
have daydreams and nightmares and every
single waking moment would be a moment
when my son was dead or when he died
..all over again.

I didn’t know
that grief feels like being in a painting
bright colors, strange elements, unknown symbols
that nothing would look real or seem important
surreal would be a word I would try to explain
because it is my life

I didn’t know
that death means an endless march
of the mind around one subject
that my whole world, every item
would revolve around one issue
that if it doesn’t relate to that subject
it will eventually.

I didn’t know
that loosing Brian would mean
that I would spend each day trying
to understand and recreate his existence
and then unbidden… his death.
I have become a writer, a painter
I want to sculpt his face, his hair, and his life
I want to create
him again.

I didn’t know
creativity would help me bridge the gap
would help me organize my shattered life
help me recover from life altering pain
that catharsis for me is pen in hand
notebook open and writing…anything
all of the words that exist for that day.
that I would write down one thought in a
thousand and want to get down the whole,
that words would be what I would seek
to explain me to them and to myself and
to look for the hope of unearthing an answer.

I didn’t know
until now.

November 10, 2008

Cassandra (President of Garden Club), Toshi, and me.

Today I went to check out the Plant City Garden Club. I had met Toshi and several of the women at the luncheon the other day (charity event for the hospital) and she said she would sponsor me so I went to check it out. I told them that I don’t garden and I don’t dig in the dirt but if there was anything else they needed me for, I’d be happy to do it. LOL Mom would get a kick out of me joining a garden club. Mom has such a green thumb and she would get a good laugh at ME joining. Anyway, they invited me back so I may go one more time. They do a lot of good work in the community, too but I don’t know if I could get past the part where I don’t garden, even if they could. LOL I learned things about flowers and gardening while there today so that would be one thing that would be fun. I would also like the design aspect of their club. They are having a flower show in Feb and were discussing the themes, etc, and it was fun helping decide how to design a Mardi Gras theme.
I don’t know if I could fit anymore volunteer work in right now but who knows. Toshi is such a hoot to be around that it might be worth it just to here her jokes! LOL
Tonight I took Bill out to eat at Mi Casa for his birthday. We will celebrate on the 16th but I wanted to do something on the actual day as well. His sisters had sent him cards so he read them and mine and we had a nice dinner. I took my camera to the Garden Club but forgot it when we went to dinner. I’m thinking more about photos now of things I will write about on my blog. These things are addicting!

Happy Birthday, Bill Roney!

Although we won’t be celebrating Bill’s birthday until the 16th when everyone is coming over, I want to say Happy Birthday to my husband who is sixty-one today and looking good! I will tell you what I got him after the 16th because it must remain a surprise until then. I am so blessed to have this man in my life for many of those sixty-one years. I know some day I may take him for granted but, not yet.

Happy Birthday, Billy.

Sixty-one years ago you were born
(thank you, Mother, for this gift!)
I’ve spent almost 40 of them with you
I wish I’d known you the first 20, too
and look forward to the next 40 (making sure here)

I kiss you good morning each day
you’re the one I kiss goodnight
You are in my thoughts each day
from morning till night and ninety-
nine percent of the time, I still smile.

Happy Birthday, Billy
“You did good” with the years you
have been given, you take care of
yourself so I don’t have to worry
your love of life is contagious.

You are the love of my life
and though I’ve never been with
a sixty-one year old man until
today, I think I like it, I like it a lot!

Judy Roney

I love you!!! I hope that you will have a great day and an even better one when we celebrate YOU on the 16th. J

Day 9 - Dreams Having to do with Loss

For Seconds
In the middle of the night I wake up whole again
my family is complete and my son’s
just away at college or work. I can look forward
to seeing my husband and daughter whose eyes
are bright with laughter, they look the same
as they did before he died, before the life we
shared was ruptured by that bullet.
In the middle of the night life is whole again
for seconds.

Bob
I think things are quiet and calm
That you are settled and doing well
Until I hear the news that you
Have another DUI and will be going to jail--
I feel the old stab in my heart
The pain that is so familiar now
And I don’t know what to say
I don’t know when things changed
When you became so bitter and expected things
Expected the world to treat you well
When you don’t treat yourself that way
Suicide is a long and agonizing process for you--
You don’t get it, you don’t understand
You feel you are suffering so much
I hope that it is true, that you are
That you will hurt enough to stop
I hope that the school, the jail,
The community service, the parole,
The pain you have caused yourself
The hurt you have caused others
Will sink in and things will change

In my memories of you and me growing up--

You were brave and had the answers 
how to survive in an unjust world
I followed you around like a puppy
you were my hero, my protector
You worked so hard, your back bent
you didn't expect much
We helped each other to grow up
From the corner of my eye I see you
Back then in the days of our youth
How strong you were, a real trail blazer
We all looked up to you.

In my dreams..

you wake up and take charge
of your life, you decide to stop
smoking and hacking, drinking
and suffering for it, hurting yourself
and others. In my dreams you
are capable and strong
take on life challenges
without any crutch, seek
help and you grow old
with your brothers, with me
instead of dying at age fifty-nine
and leaving us behind to
wonder why and miss you..

Fact

Fact

Life goes on
a merry-go-round
of happenings
life affirming.

When tragedy strikes
our own world ceases
Its unfathomable that
others go on with
daily life things.

The world keeps turning
with or without us
there’s never a hault,
a pause so we can catch our
breathe or re-figure things
so they make sense again.

The most we can hope for
those of us who greive,
who have an added trauma
of loss of child, loss to
suicide or murder, unexpected
loss,is that we will hop back
on the spinning sphere of
life when we are able.

The world goes round
but there are hands
reaching out to help
us back on board. The
world doesn’t stop
revolving but we can
get back on with help
our friends,our families
professionals,all reaching
out when we can see clearly
again. Grab on when you can.

Fall Fancy 2008

Bill and I went to a fund raiser luncheon at the hospital director's house. The lunch was catered by the hospital and it was absolutely delicious! We were amazed at the amount of food and the quality. So, we talked to the caterers there and now we will be having the get together here next Sunday catered for about the same price it would cost for me to do it! I am really happy about that turn of events. We will see if they are any good when they come to our house instead of the director's house. LOL I thought it would be interesting to see what their house looks like, to attend for a good cause (Obstetric unit), and maybe meet some people. It was a fun day and we ended up staying there for several hours and I met some really nice people there, as well as seeing some old friends. So, it was a success.
Michael came over and he and Bill are watching the Gators play Vanderbilt tonight. From what I can hear, it's not much of a game yet. I made brownies and dips and had sandwiches and chips and it was the usual Saturday night meals as of late. I find as I go about my day that I think sometimes about what I will write in my blog and I took the camera with me to the luncheon and just now went in to get a photo of Michael and Bill relaxed watching the game so I could share. :)The game must not be going well because Mike and Bill are in there arguing about which is better, Ford or Chevy. Guess its time to bring out the brownies.

Writing about a Myth about my subject..that you get over a loved one's death.

Get Over It

You have to get over this
let go
I’m told
but I will never let go
of my son
love only grows
after death

memories sustain
as I adapt
to a new relationship
beyond the grave
incorporate his death
into my life
adapt to the loss
learn to love life again
find joy
establish new traditions
move on
to a new existence

but get over this
not in my lifetime.

In Praise of Loss

This one was so tough. The prompt is to write a poem in praise of our theme (mine is loss or grief). Not much I could think of to praise about this one, made me want to change my theme. Also made me know I'm still very angry so I wrote from that.

In Praise of Loss

You allow me to treasure
who I have and what I have
where I am in life ,what
I want my family and friends
to know.. today.

I believed that you would
destroy me, that no one could
live with the magnitude of loss
but I learned how strong I am, how
you are part of life but you can’t
control me. You and the grief you
bring only make me stronger.

Grandma's Hugs

Her arms engulf me in greeting as she
holds me against her ample bosom. I can
smell the Tabu and the hard day’s work on
her flesh. She has on her navy-checked cotton
dress that has been line-dried and starched
in the sink before she put the iron to it.

She finagles her vast body into her worn green
vinyl lounge chair and sighs to let me know
all is not well with her or many others.
She picks at her cuticles as she worries
about me,family,friends,and the world situation.

She punctuates my update with “Well…”
as she shakes her freshly permed head and fills
our space with the odor of ammonia, the mole on
her chin moves as she tells me how much she
misses me, how much she loves me, how she hopes
I have a good relationship with God.

Beside her on the cheap, clanky folding table
sits her favorite Bible, highlighted and
bookmarked, the worn edges beginning to curl
up. There’s a notebook with a yellow No. 2 pencil
she uses to jot down visitors names. She checks
her notes, riffles through the pages. “Not as
many came today as they did last Wednesday.
I had 52 visitors last week but I won‘t have
that many this week.“ Then I smell the biscuits
baking and I walk into the kitchen.

I notice the incline towards the back porch is
steeper the floors creak with each step. There’s
always something cooking on the stove as if she
had a sixth sense about people coming. I half
the fluffy biscuits and add some of her fresh
churned butter and the blackberry jam she put up
last summer and we feast. Grandma died 13 years
ago but I can still see her there on Highland Drive
standing by the screen door with her arms outstretched.

Election Day 2008

Election Day 2008

Hoorah! It’s here, finally. I will be glad when all is tallied and our new president is decided. It is both an humbling experience and one of exhilaration to walk into the polling station and cast my vote. I feel a part of something so huge it transcends just about anything else I can do. It was nice seeing all the people at the polls and all the enthusiasm for their candidate. I will trust this process now and get behind the President (whoever he is) and look forward. I have done my part.

Bill and I worked out at the Y after we voted and then met Wayne, my brother, at I-Hop for breakfast and it was nice catching up. Wayne is in the car business like Bill so they always have plenty to talk about but I get plenty of my words in as well, as you can imagine. My sister in law, Wayne’s wife, is so excited about her Mom and Sister’s arrival here this month from Venezuela. They will arrive on the 11th and stay for one month. Yemelis has not seen her mother and sister for seven years so this will be a good homecoming for them. Gisela and Bettina speak no English so this should be interesting.

We have so many things going on. Bill’s birthday is the 10th, Yamelis’ mom and sister arrives the 11th, my brother (Mike and his girlfriend, June) moved into their new home, Mike(our nephew) moved to Lakeland recently, and Jeni and Tom are engaged and have set a month for their wedding (April). So, we are all (I hope) going to get together on the 16th here for a BBQ and celebrate them and everything that is good.

Day 3 of PAD (Poem A Day)

We were asked to forshadow a coming event that we would write about later (on day 20)Bliss

I left a message on my husband’s
cell. Our daughter is engaged
and happy, our son has graduated
college and landed the job he
hoped for. Our job is done. Life
doesn’t get any better than this I
sing into my cell phone to let him
know I look forward to this new
chapter of our lives. I wish I could
take it back, the total abandon, the pure
bliss, the moment when all is perfect.

Poetry

I imagined writing exciting and wonderful things on this blog, but since have realized those kinds of happenings may not come each day. So I've decided to write poetry. I will still write exciting and wonderful things as they happen. Stay tuned.

I am attempting the Poem A Day through the month of November. I will feel fortunate just to create a poem each day. These will be unfinished, un-critiqued, rough drafts that I write so ..go easy. We have to have a theme for our poetry with the thoughts of having 30 poems to put in a chapbook. That's tough and the theme that comes to mind is loss or grief (same thing, right?) and so it's probably not poetry for everyone.

I did want to report on the Women's' Club Spaghetti Dinner that we had this weekend. It was a great success and proceeds will go to the scholarships we present to students at the end of the year. I had drive-through duty and it was not pretty. Its a wonder I didn't get splashed across the parking lot, spaghetti dinner for four splayed across my body. I should have had on roller skates to make things go more smoothly (hmmmm, maybe not). I was hobbling around the parking lot with arms loaded down with spaghetti dinners and the cars were coming through like it was a race track and they were all Andretti. When I went in all the other indoor workers were sitting down eating! I was in shock. They forgot about me out there! They even told Bill that I had left when he came to eat dinner with me! Oh, well, what can you do. I do wish I could attend these meetings and keep duct tape firmly over my mouth so I don't volunteer for anything for a while. I wanted to socialize and have fun and I'm working my tush off! Oh, well, its for a good cause.
Nov 1 and 2 poems :

Overcome

Too many times I’ve thought
I can’t stand it, I can’t be here
can’t stand the pain of this loss.

I always hang on , my
grip tenuous and iron steel
by turns as I hold on
to that which is going or

gone. I value the resolve that takes
me forward when what I want is
blissful sleep. The solution

comes to me gradually, seeps
into consciousness with the dusky
evening light. My legacy, the
women who walked before me
the ones who walk with me on
this same treacherous path.

Nov 2
In this poem we were to speak on our theme as someone else would have spoken to us. I chose Iris Bolton whose words are the first stanza, my own follow.

Declaration

I don’t know why
I’ll never know why
I don’t have to know why
I don’t like it
I don’t have to like it
What I do have to do is

make a choice about
living. Why? Why not.
Weary, I travel through
each day and pray
I won’t be destroyed
won’t destroy others by
my grief. A choice to

live is the choice I
make each day and as time
goes on I advance to choices
that make my life more than
existence. Forgetting myself

at times I even reach for
joy before life dawns on me
again. In infinitesimal increments
I move through another passage
I’m Indiana Jones effeminate

dodging spears and casualties
as I make my way to a new dawn
striped of any resemblance of the
woman I was, transformed into an
enigma even to myself.